Pop's Birthday, Lee's Adoption, and Many Blessings!

     Today my blessings are:

     1. Ryan and I learned yesterday after our meeting with the lawyer that the government will issue a new Birth Certificate with Lee's new name, and me as his mom! That is such an awesome blessing! Now whenever I take him to the Dr. or enroll him in school, the legal document shows the truth---that I am his mom! 

     2. Elora is 25 weeks, 6 days old today!!

     Here are the average statistics for her GA:

     Pregnancy week; Length (inches);Weight (ounces);Length (cm);Mass (g)
     26 weeks                14.02 inches         1.68 pound          35.6 cm         760 grams
     http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1004000/average-fetal-length-and-weight-chart#ixzz3jSgk88hT

     3. I found Lee that Lee's cell donor is still living with her current "husband". That means they can send the forms to an address and we won't have to advertise in the paper!

     4. Ryan and I maintain the virtues of good communication, forgiveness, and trusting God to give us grace for our marriage!

A Little Scare

     There is so much on my mind today, I don't know where to start. So I will turn this post into a prayer.

     I'm worried because:

     1. We have fleas in the house. I want to get rid of them, fast. I don't want Ryan to stay mad about it. I want our marriage to remain happy.

     2. I start at Northfield soon, and one of my old college teachers is sending his daughter there. I don't want him to interfere with my teaching science, and teaching Genesis as truth.

     3. Lee started school today. I want to see him succeed academically and feel good about himself.

     4. We are going tomorrow to our lawyer's office to finish the adoption paperwork. I don't want there to be any interferences.

     5. Grandma Pat threw a fit last night, just because she wants to get Lee hot lunches, but I want to make his lunches because my mom did that for me. I don't want her to be angry, I want her to understand, and I want to have a good talk with her later on the phone.

     I do feel better because:

     1. Lee and I had to go to the hospital yesterday because I was very wet down there. It turned out I was not leaking amniotic fluid, Elora is just fine, and the stitch is holding. I do have an infection though, called bacterial vaginosis. I'm taking an antibiotic.

..........................................

     This is a little later in the day. I got to talk to grandma Pat on the phone, and all is well. I got to go to Mass at noon at the Cathedral, and pray about everything. I feel much better now :) I also got some flea spray at Lowe's. I'm pretty tired now...I think I'll go and take a short nap.

     By the way, Elora is 25 weeks, 4 days GA.

What we did for our 1st Anniversary

     Today Elora's GA is 25 weeks, 3 days.

     Ryan and I had a lovely Anniversary weekend. I'm writing it down so I don't forget. We didn't get any pictures and I don't want to forget anything.

     The evening of the 14th Ryan gave me my gift...a gold mother and child necklace with a diamond! It is gorgeous! I gave him his, which was a game he had asked for..."Stone Age", a really cool work placement game. He also got me the best card ever!

    We didn't get there until after 7 because we had to take care of the pets and pack after we got off work. After we checked in we went up to the 18th floor, and we just sat by the window in the hallway. Looking out on our city was amazing. It ended up that we were in room 1804 instead of our Honeymoon Suite, 1801, as I requested. Something apparently got mixed up. But our room was beautiful. We has south and west views of Wichita.

     When we got there we just laid on the soft bed awhile, then Ryan took me out to my current favorite Restaurant, Applebee's! I had my usual---the pick your own Appetizer plate (3 for $11.99). I got hot boneless chicken, chicken quesadillas, and pot stickers. He got his usual...Mac and Cheese with chicken tenders.

     We went to the 47th St. Applebee's. Afterward we went "home" and went to bed.
   
     In the morning I treated Ryan to the hotel breakfast buffet...$15.50/person. I had eggs and chicken sausage; he had eggs, bacon, and a waffle, which he said was the best he'd ever had. We had slept in until 9:30, and the buffet ended at 10:30.

     After that, Ryan had a great plan. He took me to the Museum of World Treasures! It was fantastic! When we got there, there was a Farmer's Market going on. My old friend John Corte was playing in the Celtic band, Knocknasheega. We looked at tie-dyed baby clothes, exotic pasta, fresh veggies, and Ryan had kettle corn.

     Then we went in the museum. We spent several hours wandering through the exhibits...dinosaurs, ancient India, Africa, Greece and Rome, Egypt, then up to the 2nd floor for all of the wars. The 3rd floor had some pop culture and sports items. I got Lee an obsidian arrowhead.

     We left there around 3, went to "Wizard's Asylum" to get Ryan's comics from his pull file, grabbed some Pepsis and browsed, etc. Then we went "home" and went swimming. The pool was really cold! We eased ourselves in, and played water volleyball with a beach ball. Then Ryan carried me around, we talked about marriage and parenthood, and he got in the hot tub while I put my feet in.

     After that I took him to one of his favorite's, "B.J's Brewhouse" for dinner. He got chicken alfredo and I tried their appetizer sampler. It was not as good as Applebee's. The items on it were some little chicken/veggie wraps, which were very good, some avacado wraps (which were only ok), some mozzarella sticks (good), and some artichoke/spinach dip with chips (only ok).

     After eating we took our instruments to the Keeper of the Plains and played our music for a few hours (8-10). Some little kids danced, and a few people clapped, but mostly they just listened. It was great! They lit up the fires at 9:00 as usual.

     Then we went "home" and went to bed. In the morning we woke at 9:30, took a shower, made coffee in the weird one-serving coffee-pot (which overflowed because I tried to rig it to make Ryan's beloved Guatemala), went to Starbuck's (Ryan got me some yummy light, vanilla, iced Frappe thing; he got an iced Guatemala pour-over), then went out to Grandma Brenda's and Grandpa Scott's to get Lee, then went to Mass at 1:30. After, we ate at Taco Bell, got Justine 2 mice, and took Lee to see "Minions" for the end of our Anniversary celebration.

     All in all, we loved it and want to stay at "our hotel" again. Ryan got beautiful rest.

Mommy to the world: My babies are all equally my babies!

     Samuel's statistics when he was born at GA 20 weeks, 5 days were 10 inches long, 11 1/4 oz. Here are weeks 20 and 21 averages:
     20 weeks:10.08 inches,10.58 ounces,25.6 cm,300 grams
     21 weeks:10.51 inches,12.70 ounces,26.7 cm,360 grams

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1004000/average-fetal-length-and-weight-chart#ixzz3ihsSYw3g

      Elora's gestational age today is 24 weeks, 5 days. Her movements are stronger every day. The other day we were watching an animated film, "Superman Doomsday", and I was lying flat on my back. Elora started kicking my bladder HARD, about every 6 seconds. It was like she was exercising or something. It might have felt good for her, but it was PAINFUL for me!

     Here are the stats for her age:
     24 weeks:11.81 inches,1.32 pound,30 cm,600 grams
     25 weeks:13.62 inches,1.46 pound,34.6 cm,660 grams

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1004000/average-fetal-length-and-weight-chart#ixzz3ihsrUEOZ
     I now am developing an "outie" belly button, and I have a slight "linea nigra", or dark line, going down my belly underneath my outie. My gums bleed a little more, and I am pretty tired compared to my energy levels when not pregnant ("Let's go unicycle for two hours, babe!"), but otherwise feel good. Oh, and I do get moody sometimes.

     I was thinking last night, that I can't wait to give birth, because I want to show the world that Lelan's my child every bit as much as Elora. It doesn't matter which womb we grew inside of. Our parents are the ones who are married in the sight of God. We can only truly be married once, and that marriage cannot be dissolved by any earthly power. Some people sadly go through several civil divorces before they find their true spouse in God's eyes. That is why the Church has the annulment process...to declare that the previous "marriages" were not truly marriages, often because one or both of the spouses had an existing impediment. For example, in their heart they did not truly want to marry that person, and had no intention of remaining faithful to them. In many of those cases, that would mean that there was not a true marriage. Other impediments that I know of are not being open to children, being forced to marry, or being abusive.

     In my case, I'm just thankful that Ryan and I had both never been married. It would have been a lengthy and trying process to wait for an annulment to come through, when we were both so turned on by each other (and still are). I've had several relatives and friends who have had to wait for annulments. It's just the Church's way of making sure you are not committing adultery, that you know what marriage is, and that the marriage(s) you were in before were not truly marriage(s).

     A few months ago I was feeling very horrible. The Devil put into my mind the idea that, "Mmmm...maybe because Ryan lived with somebody and had a child, then he is not really your husband". That tortured me, even though it was bogus. I had to talk to our priest to receive consolation about it. He reminded me that even having a child with someone, or the length of time they cohabited, does not constitute a marriage. Ryan and I got up in front of witnesses of the Church, after much prayer and discernment, and we made our marriage vows before God, from the fullness of our hearts. Neither of us had ever done anything like that before, or wanted to do that before.

     Anyway, the point I was getting to in regards to motherhood was, even if my son's egg donor had contact or even spent a lot of time with him, she would not be his mother. Your parents are the ones God gives you in their Holy Matrimony. As a friend of mine said, "When a man and woman get married in God's eyes, that is the birthday of a family".

     But I cannot wait until the legal adoption is complete, simply because I want to feel safe. I want to convey that peace to Lelan. I want my heart to feel fully settled, in that no one can intrude in my relationship with my son. The relationship of a child with his or her parents should be private and hidden, because it is sacred. That is what I believe. Once this legal aspect is complete, no one can ever intrude!

     Elora and Lelan will grow up knowing that they were both equally made, and grew up, in their parents love. That is my hope (Nadine). That is the desire of my heart. Elora! (God is my light!) May you and your brother grow up in the light of the Lord! May you not be confused and shaken by the many shades of gray that the world will try to confuse you with. May you know right from wrong in every situation, even when others are afraid to stand on the truth. O Jesus, I pray it will be so! St. Samuel, pray for us!

Oh, another note. I've been having occasional pain on the right side of my lower back. It doesn't last long, and doesn't really hurt. I would rate it on a scale of 1-10 at a zero. But the inside of my thighs have hurt worse. At first I thought my husband and I were just "doing it" too often (snickers). But we've been waiting since Monday for our Anniversary weekend tomorrow night, and they're still sore. So maybe it's symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD)? I don't know. That pain is not bad either, maybe a 0.5 at worst. But I'm a scientist and I like to have a name for things :)

Little Trekker

     I wrote a song this morning called "Little Trekker". It's for Sam. Ryan said we will cover it. It was strange how I wrote it. I usually have written songs over the course of a few weeks, maybe even a few months, but this one was finished in an hour. After I got off the phone with Ryan at 6 am, I couldn't sleep. Elora was kicking like crazy. I just have not been sleeping that well the past few nights, and neither has Ryan. Then the words started coming to me. Just a few phrases. So I started writing them down. The melody came to me with the words.
     I am making a baby book for Lee. There is an awesome sale at Hobby Lobby going on, and I saved 50 dollars on scrapbook material! I didn't know there was a sale until the lady at the register told me. Each page takes a long time, and I've only got 4 or 5 done so far. Lee picked out some little sequins he wanted me to put on. I love him so much.
     Elora is 23 weeks, 5 days along. Time is flying by. At the doctor's appointment yesterday, Dr. Craddock really assuaged my fears about placental issues. She said if anything went wrong they would do a c-section.
     I finally got my coconut cream pie. I got a sugar-free one for grandma Pat and had a piece with her before work. She is still fighting strong. I really want her to be here when Elora ("Little Pat") is born.
     Lee's school preparation is almost done. On Monday or Tuesday we have to get school supplies, and I'll pay for his books and resources. He stayed at Grandma Brenda's and Grandpa Scott's last night. We said goodbye to my brother-in-law, who is moving to Oklahoma City. We pray he finds good Christian fellowship there.
     Tomorrow evening after work, we are heading to Lake of the Ozarks to see Grandma Phyllis. I'm going to take Ryan and Lee to see Bridal Cave, because they have never been in a cave before. I love my husband and my son so much. We're praying that Ryan finds a better job in the future. I would really like to have several kids, but with my cerclages it will make things expensive. I want us to be able to take fun family trips and such also, and not struggle financially.
     This picture was taken shortly before I met Ryan, when I was doing graduate studies on baby egrets. This is a cattle egret (Bubulcus ibis).

Some Statistics on Premature Birth

     I'm compiling information to ease my worries, and help me to have a level-headed frame of mind if complications occur, or Elora comes early.

     But please, dear Lord Jesus, I pray that Elora is born safely!

     Various factoids and sources that I'm learning from:

-----According to a report last year by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence, the three major problems are respiratory complications and lung disease, problems with bowel function and long-term neurological damage. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11121592/Premature-babies-How-24-week-old-babies-are-now-able-to-survive.html)

-----Cerebral palsy affects about 10 per cent of those born at 23 weeks (the risk falls to 1-2 per cent at 26 weeks). (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11121592/Premature-babies-How-24-week-old-babies-are-now-able-to-survive.html)

----- It costs about £1,500(1,500 British Pounds=2,337 US dollars) a day to keep a baby in intensive care, £900 in a high-dependency cot and then a sliding scale of costs for special care, transitional care and normal care.(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11121592/Premature-babies-How-24-week-old-babies-are-now-able-to-survive.html)

-----a table:

Weeks of pregnancy	Survival rates
23	Nearly 2 to 3 out of 10 survived (about 7 to 8 out of 10 died)
24	5 out of 10 survived (5 out of 10 died)
25	Nearly 8 out of 10 survived (about 2 out of 10 died)

(http://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_to_expect_when_you_have_an_extremely_premature_infant-health/article_em.htm)

-----this was one of the more severe cases I read about:

'For her first few months Hope experienced one problem after another: septicaemia, pneumonia, bowel problems, meningitis. 

Initially, the HIllis's were told their daughter only had 24 hours to live - and that's why they called her Hope

'She even went into cardiac arrest on the operating table while they were performing a procedure to relieve fluid on her brain. We'd leave the neo-natal unit for a much-needed break and, on arriving home, receive a call to tell us that Hope had taken a turn for the worse and we would have to dash back again. 

Sarah says what happened to Hope has made her appreciate just how precious her children are

'For the first four years of her life Hope virtually lived in hospital. When we eventually took her home, I did secretly wonder how I would cope with a daughter with such critical health issues. 

'She has cerebral palsy, her immune system is so weak that she constantly succumbs to life-threatening illnesses, such as meningitis, and she recently had a tracheotomy fitted because damage to her brain stem was causing her breathing to falter when she was asleep. She also has mild learning difficulties.

'Now, while it might sound strange, I feel I'm lucky. What happened to Hope has made me appreciate just how precious my children are. It's brought us closer together as a family.
Hope is so bubbly - she won't let anything hold her back.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2256242/Over-half-babies-survive-birth-24-weeks-legal-abortion-limit---cost-health-families-Four-mothers-tell-stories.html#ixzz3hs4dR1Hz
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2256242/Over-half-babies-survive-birth-24-weeks-legal-abortion-limit---cost-health-families-Four-mothers-tell-stories.html)

-----this article was a hopeful one talking about 22, 23 weekers:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/07/health/premature-babies-22-weeks-viability-study.html

Worries, worries, and more worries...trying to trust Jesus and not worry!

     Today is Monday, August 3rd. Elora is 23 weeks, 2 days gestational age.

     I've been researching placental abruption. There are so many things to worry about during pregnancy. There are so many ways to possibly lose the baby. It seems like all I can do is trust Jesus, so I will. My friend Jerry told me yesterday after Mass, with a big natural smile, "Hannah, you can't worry. Just trust God and His will". He is right.

     After Mass yesterday Ryan took us to Sedgwick County Zoo. Although we look like a family of 3, we are a family of 5. One is a Saint in Heaven, and one is relaxing in my internal NICU.

     I've been giving my little Lelan Andrew Peter a Folate supplement for 3 days now. It's 1,000 mcg and his pediatrician advised that it may help him pay better attention. In most people, the body can convert folic acid into folate. It then uses the folate to build neurotransmitters in the brain. In some individuals, however, the body is unable to convert the folic acid into folate. Thus, the body has a harder time making neurotransmitters. Poor attention span and hyperactivity can result. We will see if this helps my baby.

     On August 16th, our 1-year Anniversary of Holy Matrimony, my lawer is going to file Lelan's adoption paperwork. I was so excited when I met with him a few weeks ago and found out that I could legally give him a second middle name, as I'd dreamed from the time he became my son! I was filling out the paperwork, which was for two parents adopting a baby, and there was a section to change the baby's name. So I asked if I could add a middle name and the answer was yes! But although I'd wished this, I hadn't decided what that name would be. However, the only name that settled in my mind was "Peter", the fisherman Andrew's brother, so that was it.

     This is a picture of my little fisherman talking to Fr. Jacques Phillipe when he visited our parish, St. Francis of Assisi:

     So all in all, I rejoice in the Lord's goodness. I pray he never gets angry with me as he did with Miriam in the Numbers 12 Mass reading today!

     These are a few things I have done for my baby in the past year. This is not of pride, but of overwhelming thankfulness to God for the gift Lelan as my son:

-----gotten him Baptized

-----helped him receive his First Confession and Communion

-----taught him to hang his clothes and brush his teeth

-----taught him to add and subtract

-----helped him become a better reader

-----taught him to pray

-----named him. Ryan named thought of "Lelan" and "Andrew", and I thought of "Peter"

-----taught him to wipe his bottom correctly, lol!

-----taught him to tread water. His record is almost a minute and a half!

-----given him the focus of my time, love, hugs and kisses everyday

     I continue to pray that:

-----Lelan will grow into a godly older child, teenager, and man.

-----that he and Elora will be great defenders of the Catholic faith and the Traditional Doctrine of Creation

-----that the whole world will recognize the beauty of the Church's teachings on Marriage and Family